We’ve done it!
The Ministry of Siege Warfare has been hard at work over the recent hiatus devising and contriving the most efficient and whimsical ways to blow your minds. YOU SAID IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE! We could never reach the mystical realm of 12– the absolute distance to the moon. Prepare to be amazed! For your ALMIGHTY MINISTER OF SIEGE WARFARE HAS INFILTRATED THE MOST FORTIFIED DEPTHS OF NONE OTHER THAN THE US GOVERNMENT! For me and my gnomish henchmen have conducted the most covert act of espionage and intrusion ever perpetrated on US soil.
How did we do so and what did we accomplish, you may ask? Well, let me tell yo— **oops**
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REDACTMANY GNOMES WERE LOST IN THIS BATTLE LET THEM FOREVER BE REMEBERED AS THE VALIANT 300. THE 300 GNOMES WHO PUT DOWN THEIR LIVES FOR THE PROPEGATION OF ASSORTED TOMFOOLERY AND OTHER SORTS OF PECULIAR AND OTHERWISE ABSURD AND BAFFLING NONSENSE. RIP. HERE LIES THE 300: ‘Fiddlestone, Whisperstone, Dappleleaf, Freckletoes, Scurrystone, Fiddlestone, Gigglebeard, Ripplebeard, Scurryleaf, Wobblepetal, Glimmerpetal, Snickercreek, Fiddlebeard, Scurryfern, Picklefoot, Freckletwig, Fiddleleaf, Dapplepetal, Squigglefern, Squigglemoss, Scurrydew, Scurrypebble, Glimmertoes, Glimmerfern, Twinklethistle, Bumblebranch, Gigglebreeze, Rippleblossom, Tumblethistle, Squigglebranch, Frecklebranch, Pickletwig, Twinkleberry, Scurrydew, Glimmerfern, Whisperbranch, Scurrydew, Fiddlepebble, Snickerbranch, Fiddletwig, Jingleblossom, Rippleblossom, Picklestone, Fiddledew, Fiddlehat, Dapplefoot, Scurrymoss, Fiddleblossom, Picklepetal, Squigglehat, Jingledew, Rumblebrook, Wobbletwig, Squiggleleaf, Muddlecreek, Twinkledew, Muddleblossom, Pickleblossom, Frecklehat, Snickerdew, Squiggledew, Puddlemoss, Bumblebrook, Fiddlecreek, Tumblestone, Rumblebreeze, Wobblebreeze, Giggleblossom, Nibblebrook, Muddlepetal, Puddlehat, Muddlebrook, Dappleblossom, Dappletoes, Dapplethistle, Snickerfo’REDACTED REDACTED Wkh ehqhyrohqw vrflhwb lv jrlqj wr vsdfh REDACTED REDACTED ACTED REDACTED REDACREDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED
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I’m back. Long day, ay? Um, well… You see… There was this thing… We looked at a rocketship It was pretty cool. Anywho… Um… Follow this link to figure out how we did it– https://www.instagram.com/p/C1DCbJzvOsB/?img_index=2
Besides the “unfortunate” situation regarding how I achieved this great and absolutely absurd feat of infiltrating the Noodles And Spaghetti Agency, we were able to snap this quick picture regarding the state of the Siege Warfare shenanigans–
Those interlopers at the Narwhals Admiring Stars Astronomically society have pretty bad security to say the least. Let’s just say that I am very skilled in the art of micro-gnomicology. Follow the link
Regardless of the methods and strategems employed, your ESTEEMED MINISTER OF SIEGE WARFARE HAS EXPANDED OUR SOCIETY’S REACH TO THE COSMOS.
We will forever be engraved onto a plaque that will be attached to the Europa Clipper– the probe that will explore the moon of Jupiter, searching for signs of life. Europa is considered one of the best candidates for life in our solar system and the Benevolent Society will forever be there to witness it!
Signing off,
Your Esteemed Minister of Siege Warfare