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SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHH WhIIIIIiiiIIIIIiIIIIIIiIiIIiiIIIiiiiiiiii IIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiizzzzzzzzzzzzz eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee CRAAASHHH *POP* GODDAMN IT, MY BALLOON! Well, what am I to do? Hmmmmm…. Wait a minute, when did this transmission start??? That’s unfortunate. Ah well, Hello! My dear jugglers, if you can hear me, it seems I have hit a snag. The storm that was supposed to…
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REJOICE!
My dearest Jugglers, Just as our Benevolent Society has lived through moments of monumental magnitude in our 16 years of existence, we have heard tell of a magnificent matter in our imminent morrow!!!!!!! MAKE MERRY!! Allow me to escort you on a trip down memory lane, retracing our club’s corresponded chronicles back to the year of our Gregory, 2511…
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A message from the Anthropologist returning from an extended sabbatical
________________________________________________ {Transmission received: 16:04:20 Universal Coordinated Time} Greetings and Salutations to my youthful compatriots in the circus arts, I hope this message, after travelling unfathomable distances and miles and miles and miles and miles of wilderness and deserts, the likes of which I had never seen before my arrival in this strange land, finds you all right…
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For Those Seeking the Guacamole Forest
Dearest friends and friends to be, You are receiving this email because you are a member of The Benevolent Society for the Propagation of Assorted Tomfoolery and Other Sorts of Peculiar and Otherwise Absurd and Baffling Nonsense. What does that mean, exactly? Well, how did you get here? Where did you start? I have a…
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The Final Lamentations of a Fallen King
Dearest Friends, Fairies, Babies, Peers, and Elders, I dip my fingers into the electric ink-well before me to regale you with my thoughts one final time. I have done this on many occasions: when an assignment loomed near enough to ignore, when the minds of the youth were in need of nutrition, when I felt…